Happy New Year

Morning everyone! After spending New years eve cosy at home with my girls, a takeaway and SPY on DVD (which is a brilliantly hilarious film I might add), I have woken up this morning feeling refreshed and ready to rumble, that lasted until about 11.15am and I am now back in bed, reflecting over the last year. I want to say a very big THANK YOU to everyone who is reading or following diary of a blind lady, I never imagined anyone would be that interested in the things I have to say, and it was only ever meant really for a way for me to download my thoughts and work through some of the things that have happened over the years, I don't know about you but, sometimes, we get on with life and we don't always realise the things we do, go through or the things we take for granted, I am definitely not one for always looking back but sometimes if you don't deal with the things which are floating around in your head there is no way of moving forward, this year I am determined to move forward. I have always hated going into a new year, and have always found myself filling new years day with as much as I could to take my mind off of the worries of the coming year, this year, however, I feel completely different, I am relaxed and have a warm cosy feeling in my stomach, this might have something to do with the fact that I have just got out of a hot bubble bath, put on my fluffy dressing gown and have got back under my duvet, but I definitely feel more detached from the usual emotions!
Maybe, I am starting to learn how to deal with change better, yesterday, for example, I went into Hitchin on the bus with Mum to do some banking and get a few bits, Santander was the usual long queue, polite staff, happy days. Barclays, however, had changed! Usually this brings pure panic, like the bottom falls out of my stomach and I want to run for cover, this time I pushed open the heavy wooden door to find nothing in its usual place, I stood there for a few seconds, taking in the changes, Mum marches off and sits on a lovely blue comfy chair, clearly she has been in since things have changed. There are no more counters and humans have been replaced with computers, the only counter with a human attached to it had a long queue, so I joined it, knowing I wouldn't have a hope in hell of operating a computer. After about 5 minutes, Mum gets up, comes over and whispers in my ear...Lynda, you do know you are in the queue for international and business banking....YEAH OF COURSE I BLOODY DO....what a twat! So I casually swaggered over to the dam computers and tried to peep at what everyone else was doing without looking like I was trying to steal their bank details!! Then a very young lady who is employed by Barclays comes over and asks if I need help, my peeping must have raised suspicion! So I explained my situation and the fact that unfortunately I am gonna need help, she then says..Ahhhhh bless you!!which instantly makes me want to ask her if she would like a smack in the mouth! She then talks me through the whole procedure, you put your card in here, your number goes in here, the cash goes in here, you verify it here and your receipt comes out here...all the time she keeps rubbing my arm like I am some sort of lost puppy! She then asks if I need any more help...NOOOOOOO THANK YOU! and reassures me that there will always be a member of staff to assist me with the dreaded machines..why cant they just have bloody people sitting behind bloody counters that you can chat to and exchange pleasentries as you get your banking done??? Anyway the point I should have been trying to make was that, the experience and emotions I was having were not my usual way for thinking when things have changed, and I was doing really well, until she said Ahhhh, bless you! I didn't trip, stumble or fall, panic, want to run away or cry and this I hope is the way forward, stop thinking about the image I portray, people stereotype and that's their problem not mine, I am registered blind, but I will not act accordingly, I will still dress super sexy, I will still get my hair and make up done by my favourite lady at Scissors in Baldock, I will be doing what I want to do when I want to do it, so watch out 2016 I am back.....Happy New Year everyone xx