RNIB Counselling and Veg!

Hi everyone, I thought I would try having a lie in this morning, but the sun was shinning through my window at 6am so here I am an hour later ready to start Saturday. I am still struggling with the three day working week thing, I wake up in the morning truly having no idea what day it is, which at first was funny but now is just very annoying, it doesn't help that my eldest has had her school timetable changed so is home some days and school some others, study leave starts in a couple of weeks so its all changing. Although I have had three weeks of doing three days, not one of those days off has been solely for me to do what I want, not that I'm complaining, as I worry a bit about if suddenly people stop saying, ohhhh you're off on Tuesday, lets go shopping, or lets do lunch, will I get lonely? Or, maybe the days are meant to fill naturally, I don't know, time will tell I suppose.
This week I feel I have been carried along in a big bubble, totally unaware of things being said to me or things going on around me, maybe its my age, or maybe its because I had my first counselling session this week, I am a big 'thinker/worrier' and what I was going to say in my first email was worrying me, so, you have to make sure your email reaches your counsellor and RNIB the day before your appointment, it can be no longer than 1000 words and you can begin wherever you want. My appointment was on Thursday at 10am, so I sat quietly on the Sunday before and tried to compose my email, there I found I had no idea what to write, so I began with a brief outline of my condition, personal and work life, I think it came to about 350 words and I pinged it off to my counsellor. You are given a slot and the counsellor replies to your email at the end of the session, which is about 40 minutes long, with another email. I was concerned that counselling via email would be less personal but the email that came back was very in-depth and long! These people are very obviously very, very well trained, from my very short email she had picked up lots of things and information that I didn't even realise I had given, and had asked lots of questions for me to reply too. I had wondered that the service would focus on sight loss, but she had picked up every little piece of information and was encouraging me to elaborate on it, oh also, before you start with them, you sign a agreement that no-one can read any of the emails and no information can be shared as firstly its confidential and then they own the copyright, so although I am sharing the fact that I am having counselling with you guys, I cannot tell you about the content.  I wanted to encourage people not to dismiss the idea of receiving help through RNIB or any other organisation that provides counselling through these channels, as I've said before, counselling can be through email, instant messaging or via skype (or something like skype), I like the email because you can refer back to it, unless your session is being recorded for you (and lots of people find it hard to listen to the sound of their own voices) with such a lot of information being shared sometimes it had to retain and digest all that's been said, with email, you can go back and read it again and again. I think this is a massive step forward for me, for many different reasons, sometimes its not about needing help or making massive changes, sometimes its about talking through the changes that have already happened, working through emotions, thoughts and feelings with someone totally independent, for me sharing Diary of a Blind Lady with you guys has been a massive therapy, and at times I may have been too honest, but some of my life I cannot share with the world, some of what you go through in life you lock away, and for me opening up to you all about some stuff has made me need to download all the other little things that are tucked away in little boxes at the back of my mind, I hope this makes sense, I know I am rambling a bit, so I am going to change the subject.
Wow, I feel like I just got off my soap box as my Gran used to say! So, with this extra time I have on my hands, I thought I would have a go at.....growing vegetables!!! I didn't realise how excited I am getting over vegetable, I mean, I've been to Mum's and my mates house, and they go...ohhhh, come look what I'm growing in the greenhouse! Or, look at my veggie plot, and I'M like yeah yeah, that's realllly fab, BUT OMG, what fun, so I am growing, sweetcorn, peppers, chilli, spring onion, onion, marrow, potatoes and rhubarb, oh and carrots I had no idea what to grow, so we went with what we eat the most, I only have a little garden, but at the end of it there's a little patio where my ex used to stand his motorbike, some of the slabs were oily or cracked so I took some of them up and dug it up, I got a little fertiliser and worked it in, and last weekend I sowed the seeds in trays in the conservatory....Let me just go take some photos.....

Its a bit Stoney and looks quite small, but people grow their veg in patio pots, so i am hoping it will all be good! 

Delighted to see little plants growing.............But look at my flowers I (well, the help from Mum) planted a few weeks ago, they are Massive!!

We started the seeds out in trays and then Mum helped me do the pricking out thing, and we put them in those trays with the individual little pot things, and then about three weeks ago, mum gave me some old pots, I did the pricking out thing again as the plants were bigger and they are just going mad! :)

Every day the girls and I have a little confab on how well the seeds are doing, never realised growing veg would generate such a feeling of pride and wellbeing!

Well, the washing machine has finished, so I suppose I should go put it on the line.

I will try and blog more often as several people keep asking me when the next one will be, the only worry I have with blogging too much is that it becomes boring!

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