New years eve...eve!!

Hello everyone,
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, despite my continuous warning to my lot about not spending too much money on me it fell on deaf ears and I was very spoilt! I had a lovely pair of wellies, as the ones I had been using were my daughters that I brought her for the Reading festival this year and now have a hole in, I also had two pairs of thick wellie socks, which I need all year round, I have always had really cold hands and feet, you'll find me wearing two pairs of socks most days! Which is why Father Christmas put lots of pairs of everyday socks and woolly socks in my stocking.

 
Rubbish photo of my new wellies 😀
Best of all, I had a watch, not any watch, but one from the RNIB, ladies watches from the RNIB tend to be a little errrr aimed at the, sort of, older generation, I know I am nearing that sort of age, but I don't intend to act my age for many years yet... so I asked Santa to please look for a watch that wasn't too 'flowery' so the one that got delivered has a white leather look strap and a nice big clear watch face. I have brought talking watches before, but firstly, I find it embarrassing having a mechanical voice tell me the time when I am in a crowded place, a bit like that little button on your mobile phone which you touch to let you record a voice text instead of typing, which is a massively fantastic invention, and is fine when you are on your own, but not so good when you are on a packed bus and your daughter text you to tell you she in on the train to college by writing CHOO CHOO, and you always reply CHOO CHOOOO back, making yourself look a right Pratt as you try to whisper CHOOO CHOOO into your phone as quietly and clearly as you can.
Secondly, these talking watches don't like going around the washing machine and I am prone to putting my watch into the pocket of my jeans....you know the rest!

It nice to know my little family know me so well, as I also had fluffy boot slippers, fluffy pj's, a big fluffy scarf , two new coats, lots of relaxing bath stuff, some beautiful smelly candles, loads of chocolate and some pukka hand cream.

And to top it all off, we managed to have the sort of Christmas we wanted, no demands, we had a lovely couple of days curled up on the sofa opening gifts, watching TV and just being together.

Now I suppose we need to get back into some sort of normality and routine, but before we do, we need to see in the new year, this is something I have struggled with for many years, I don't like new years eve and hate celebrating it, I find it very depressing and would much rather be snuggled up in my bed with the covers tucked up tight under my chin, than out seeing the new year in with a drink in my hand. I find it very hard to describe my reasoning, its like the closure of a year is so final, I know its only a year, but while we were in that year we were safe, a new year brings new challenges, its 'new', unknown...what will happen during this new year? and the knowledge that there is nothing I can do to stop things happening, I know I am not making any sense at all, but I did say I found it hard to explain didn't I?

Maybe its the thought of starting another year without my Dad that is the underlying problem, especially as it would have been his 70th birthday in Feb which means he has been gone for 20 years! which is a complete bugger because it still feels like yesterday. Or maybe is the thought of my sight getting worse, because as the years pass, it will get worse...anyway, this year I realised I was starting to think about new years eve in August, how much I hate it, and suddenly I was aware that if I wasn't careful my girls would absorb my negativity towards new year and end up hating it too, so I booked us up for a night out. Tomorrow night, new years eve, the girls, mum and I will be attending a new years eve spectacular thingy! I have even booked us into a hotel for the night so the blind lady doesn't have to struggle getting three drunk ladies home!!

As any lady will tell you, a night out means a new dress, which means several shopping trips, my youngest daughter now has two dresses and I am told this is better than not having any!! Not sure my bank balance would agree, but there you go!

Today my youngest and I braved the freezing fog to go shoe shopping, which was very successful, as you all know, if I am in familiar surroundings and with someone I trust, I tend not to use my cane and today I witnessed something that has troubled me somewhat. Tesco in Stevenage, as you walk in through the doors, to your left is a little travel money exchange booth and then vegetable isle, directly in front is flowers and fruit and then to the right are the tills, further right is the what I would describe as the exit strip, and then there is the fag and lotto counter, so you go in, do your shopping, go to the tills, move along the exit strip, do the fag and lotto counter on the way out if you fancy it and exit out the same doors you came in. Today is Friday, Fridays are always busy in supermarkets so I was surprised to find myself coming face to face with a woman, her white cane and her 'helper' who was guiding her against the stream of people up the exit isle, I wanted to scream WHAT THE EFFING HELL ARE YOU DOING, but this woman and her guide were hell bent on walking into the oncoming crowd, she swiping her stick and he was shouting instructions over the shop noise. Surely, it makes sense to teach people to access their environment safely and with the least stress as possible, the woman was swiping her stick with such vigour that she was sending people in all directions, for me, I only saw her stick at the last minute and that was because my daughter slipped her arm through mine and guided me around her stick. The situation to many people isn't worth a second thought, but for me I found it interesting, part of me felt that they were pushing their way into the crowd just because they could, what is this teaching the woman? That you have a disability that gives the right and the tools to make people move out of your way? That you are adverse to what is going on around you making you ignorant to the other humans around you? The fact that the exit strip leads no where makes the situation even worse,  the woman was attracting lots of negative attention and I am puzzled as to why you would put someone in such a stressful situation seemingly unnecessarily. In my experience, and its just about the one thing I am experienced in, mobilising myself safely involves a lot more than grabbing my cane and ploughing through crowds of people swiping at anything and everything that gets in the way, for me fitting in to the crowd is much safer than working against it, that doesn't mean to say standing out is a bad thing, and maybe if I carried my cane more often people would have a little more patience and respect for me, but this works both ways, bugger I have just realised that my waffling on has turned from new years eve eve, into new years eve! So I must go to bed as I have a long day ahead.

FOR NOW I WOULD LIKE TO WISH EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU A VERY HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR XXX

I promise to continue my rantings in the 2017, all the very best, speak soon xx