I had totally forgotten how disabling having a normal common cold is when you are sight impaired...that is until today and now I remember how bloody annoying and frustrating it is!!
I noticed maybe, Friday last week that my hearing was extra sensitive, the thought of having anything wrong with my ears is ridiculously scary, my ears are my eyes. So, Saturday Morning when I woke up with my face snot glued to my pillow I was relieved that it was just a cold!
If only I could transport myself back to the days when a simple common cold meant stuffing tissues in every pocket, timing yourself between doses of cold and flu capsules and allowing yourself to eat whatever you fancy cos your Granny always told you that you should.....'Feed a cold and starve a fever' so this means that its ok to eat three slices of cake, four bars of chocolate, two pints of homemade honey and lemon drink and a bag of crisps all before lunch.
But, you got on with it, having a 'cold' didn't really hinder everyday events, in fact despite giving you a nose as red as a cherry, if you were lucky you might develop a sexy husky voice.
Once again though I am a prisoner to what cant be seen. I really struggle with balance and noise when I have a cold.
My head goes thick with germs and snot like everyone else's but as soon as my ears are affected I loose my balance and my hearing is super sensitive. I feel like I have a bucket over my head, not only is my sight affected but I cant hear properly either.
As the morning progressed my usual routine got harder and harder, as the noise level rose and I needed to concentrate harder I could feel my self needing to run away and find a warm, very quiet space so I could sit and listen to nothingness.
So, I found a bench in the sunshine and I sat there all on my own trying to filter out all the sounds that were upsetting me and focus on the gentle sounds like birds tweeting, the distant humming of people mowing their lawns and the sound of aeroplanes above in the blue sky, these are the sounds which relax me, then a young lady came along and plonked her bum down on the other end of the bench and got out her phone, for some reason she thought it was OK to play games on her iPhone with the sound full on, so suddenly my tranquil moment was filled with electronic squealing, So I sighed inwardly, got up and moved away, the young lady didn't know I needed five minutes peace, but I wanted to yell, 'why the hell have you got your face in your phone, when there is so much to look at and listen too' but not everyone understands the need to separate yourself from the craziness of the day.
Safely home, I have slept on and off all day, and everyday sounds still seem much louder than they usually do. I do feel like I need to explain myself to people and hope they understand that I am not just a wimp with a little cold, its not the cold that is the problem its the secondary complications that cause the problems. I know it will all feel different in a couple of days but, I think I am allowed to feel sorry for myself.
Even Ralph, who usually follows me around everywhere and jumps on my knee as soon as I sit down, has kept right out of my way today. There's no amount of medicine that will restore my hearing, so I just have to wait it out for now and sorry to those around me, I am more horrible than usual when I am poorly! xx
No comments:
Post a Comment