I am sorry its taken me a few days to let you in on how the appointment at the hospital went but it seems to have taken me longer to recover than usual.
On Thursday last week, I had to be at Moorfields for 9am, my partner and I went to catch the 7.50 train from Arlesey into Finsbury Park, only to find that the train before had been cancelled and the next train, our train, had been reduced from 12 coaches to 8, you can imagine the fighting to get on that train, with standing room only, my partner and I got on the last carriage and were wedged at the back. It was packed with commuters, there was this young guy, who thought his view of the EU was wayyyy more important than anyone else's and proceeded to announce his views across the carriage. He then decided that everyone needed to know how much money he and his wife earn, how much his mortgage (he has a endowment mortgage don't you know!) is, how much it costs to put his kid into childcare, he then started to slag his friends down because they earn more money but pay less tax. I looked down on this suited and booted little man, and was tempted to ask him if he had enjoyed his weekend out with his friends, how it felt to turn on the tap this morning and get clean water to brush his teeth, did you make your bed with your lovely clean sheets and fluffy pillows before you left your house this morning and had your wife drop you off at the station so you didn't get wet before she dashed off to drop your well fed and loved sprog at nursery and then dashing off herself to her own job, you silly little prick, What's the matter with people? why cant they be grateful for what they have? Bet the little shit doesn't wana trade places with the man sitting at the bottom of the steps at old street station in the pouring rain, with all his possessions in a carrier bag and a smelly old sleeping bag wrapped around him!
Luckily we came into Finsbury Park, just as I was clearing my throat to explode at this twat sitting....oh yeah that's another thing, men don't get up for women anymore, I remember going to Great Ormond Street hospital to visit my sister with my mum when I was little, and males, and I say males, because it was any age male, would get up and offer my mum a seat, now they look you up and down and you can almost see some of them thinking, I paid for this seat, I gonna sit in it!!
Oh dear, I am off again! So my partner grabs my hand and helps me off the train, the connecting train was packed so we waited the whole four minutes for the next one, which was also packed but we squeezed on. four stops to Old Street and follow the green line, there is a green line that starts in old street station and goes all the way to Moorfields. As we walked along the green line, I noticed the landscape had changed since I was last there, I didn't get a opportunity to take a photo but a magnificent new building has gone up, its all shiny and considering the small space, its massive, I don't know if this is the actual building, but it looks very similar to the one below.
There is also a coffee shop and a Sainsbury along that road that I never noticed before!
Once in the hospital we found department 11 and checked in, there wasn't may people about, so we got comfy expecting a long wait. In the time I had nipped to the loo, I had been called to see the nurse, never mind, the nurse had waited for me! Pressures checked, eye test done, diluting drops and anaesthetic drops all given and I was back out in the waiting room by 9.10, it takes about 15 minutes for eyes to dilate fully, so my partner went off in search of a coffee and I got comfy once again. Slowly patients and staff started to trickle through with stories on how bad they found the travelling to the hospital was, apparently several tube stations had been shut due to flooding and this was causing chaos, so it seemed my journey hadn't been as bad as some peoples. As I am earwigging my partner returns with his coffee, just as I am called to have a scan. For the first time I manage to sit perfectly still and I didn't even blink when the nurse said 'no blinking please'. Back to the waiting room, by backside had barely touched the seat when I was called to see the consultant. I met a new consultant and my own consultant Mr Andrews was there too. They explained that there had been a change in the vision of my good eye, and that as time goes on I will find that there will be small changes and there will be big changes to my sight, it will continue to get worse and I will make changes to my life style to adapt to that. They also said that they found 'something' in the good eye, along with the something there is a some fluid again, they chatted between themselves about treatment and came to the decision that any treatment is far too risky, if I lose sight in my good eye, well, that's it basically, my vision will be completely poo, so they decided to leave me as I am because I am doing 'A great job' the consultants words not mine! I have the reassurance that I can walk into the clinic at anytime and been seen, he hopes he doesn't see me in the clinic for a long time, but when the time comes they will support and do everything they can for me.
And that, ladies and gentlemen is that!
So, with white stick and sunglasses on, my return ticket in the back pocket of my jeans, I collected my partner and we made our way home. This is where things get frustrating, I was in and out of that appointment in less than an hour, but I felt exhausted, when we got off the tube at Finsbury Park and got on the train towards Peterborough I fell asleep, when we got off at Arlesey, we walked the short distance home, my partner drove us to go and vote, when we got back I fell asleep again, I slept on and off all day, my youngest Daughter made our tea, I literally couldn't keep my eyes open, so I went to bed at about 7pm and slept well.
I woke with all intentions of going into work on Friday morning, but I noticed that the dilation in my bad eye hadn't gone down properly, and my balance was still out. so I stayed home, and guess what...slept, I felt groggy all day, yesterday, Saturday, I took Ralph for a long walk, but again I was so tired when I got back, I find it very annoying that I get so tired when I do things that are out of my usual routine. Especially as there is nothing I can do about it, all that happened at the hospital was they told me something I already knew, so it wasn't particularly stressful.
I have, however, now that it has been reinforced by a professional, realise that it is time I started looking more, making memories, and although it would be lovely just to stop doing all the things we have to do, that's not a option, so all I need to do is shift life around a little and turn the things I have to do into good experiences making the nice things even better, right?
So last night, after the massive storm I went out into the garden to put the bin out, on the way back across the lawn, something caught my eye, when I stopped and looked around I realised that my garden has some beautiful flowers growing that I hadn't noticed before, I have no idea what they are! Also my veggie plot has gone mad, I am thinking that when the time comes and I am no longer able to work at the school, perhaps, more as a hobby, I could grow veg and have a little market stall!!!
Take a look at my flowers, they are a bit battered by the rain! I even have a Lily in the pond!
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