#RNIB Connect Magazine

Hello everyone.
On Monday we had a beautiful day here, for the 1st of November, it was very warm and sunny, Mum, Ralph and I walked across the fields to the garden centre, from Mum's house it is about a four mile walk, the route we took is part of the same route as the one I used to take when I cycled to work. As we scrunched through all the fallen leaves and admired the beautiful trees, all changing colour and loosing their leaves, it got me feeling a little sad, I started to think about what my life used to be like.  I so miss cycling, I miss lots of things.
A friend of mine put a post up on Facebook saying that it was her 50th Birthday, seems like only yesterday we celebrated her 40th, I know 10 years is a long time, and everyone experiences many changes in their lives within that time, but my mind wondered back to the club that we all went to for my friends 40th, I just couldn't do that now, not because I am 10 years older, but because I simply couldn't cope, a club would be my worst nightmare, how would I see in a club now?
Some times I think if I could go back a couple of years and see how much I could see then and compare it to what I can see now, would I still have the same attitude to life? It might stop me in my tracks and frighten me so much that I loose my drive and whatever it is that's in my heart that keeps me going, that thing that gets me up out of bed each day, lately I have noticed that that 'thing' is sometimes not as strong as it should be, or as I want it to be.
Sometimes the thought of going out on my own brings on this horrible little nag in my stomach, some days I even have to push myself to walk Ralph, often I plan my route to best avoid bumping into other people. This annoys me, makes me angry and sad. If I could take myself back and watch myself, would I be as clumsy? would I have more confidence? more patience perhaps?...
If I think about these things too much I get fed up, I know on paper my sight has changed, but how can I compare it? How can I SEE it?...Do I really want to see it?
Its funny how a series of events can change your train of thought, send you on a bit of, what I would call, a wobble.
Then I begin fighting with myself...stop feeling sorry for yourself woman, things could be much worse, there are people out there with much bigger problems than mine...doesn't stop me wanting to lick my wounds once in a while though.
I wonder where I will end up? Do you think everyone wonders about what will happen to them? or do people live for the moment and just get on with it?
Well, I had managed to give myself the complete arse hole by now, so out of pure grumpiness and the lack of anything better to do, I picked up a magazine that had dropped through the letter box.

This magazine has been dropping on my door mat for months and months, I picked it up, removed the cellophane and chucked it in the box with all the others, I have a box where all my sight related info goes.

I have never even opened the first page, I am a total disgrace!!

This issue of  the RNIB connect Magazine was really quite interesting, as I sat flicking through the 15 pages, I realised it was perfect.

Not great long paragraphs of writing, nice bright clear interesting stories. The articles were short and sharp but informative and the font was spot on for me.

There was a article from Camsight, a inspiring story about a fella who lost his sight due to a brain tumour, and re built his life with the support of Camsight and Instructability and is now a fitness instructor.

There was some information about telephone writing workshops, there was a couple of pages asking for feedback, towards the back there were some helpful phone numbers and stuff.

This got me looking through the box for the other issues, last months was pretty good too, and there is a little writing competition to enter, I am tempted to give it a go. Its creative writing with two categories, prose and poetry, I am crap at poetry so if I had a go it would be prose! If I send in a entry, I will let you all have a read!

Anyway, subscribing to #RNIB connect magazine for anyone with sight loss is a must, I know it is easy to feel isolated and lonely especially when you feel like the people around you don't seem to understand or relate to the way you might be feeling, this magazine does exactly what the title suggests...connects people with others, but in a distant sort of way if you know what I mean!

As I was looking through the box I found another magazine, this one is from Bedfordshire sight concern, this is a entirely different read....well, I couldn't read it. To start with, the pages are glossy, giving a instant glare, its all in black and white print, I dunno about you, but I find black and white print really hard to read, the photographs are also in black and white, which is ridiculous for a 'sight concern' mag, they just look like blotches on the pages. The stories are too long, if, like me, you can literally only read about four sentences before the lines and words start moving around and your head starts spinning,  this would be just too much to take in.

The font however is a good size, but sadly that's just about the only good thing I have to say about it.....Sorry #sight concern, your magazine is a bit pants!!

Sight concern....boringggg

RNIB connect, eye catching and interesting

sight concern front page is plain and uninviting...

RNIB connect front page, bright, clear and catches your interest...

So, what I was trying to say before I got distracted with the magazine comparison was, though reading RNIB connect, I have been motivated to look into the possibility of re training, if that guy can retrain as a fitness instructor, there must be something out there I could do, right? Maybe not any thing to do with fitness as I am well lazy, but its definitely something to look into. Then there is the writing competition, which is something that is floating around in my thoughts all day long, so that signifies to me that its something worth looking into too.

I leave you now, speak soon xx