Bad day!

Today, is a bad day.
I have woken up with the raging hump, I am feeling very sorry for myself, I am feeling gloomy for the future and to be honest, a little tearful.
I have taken Ralph out for a good long walk, but have just put myself back to bed as I feel sad, fat, lonely, old, stupid and incapable.
I know this is only a temporary blip, but what causes these blips? Why do we suddenly go from a fairly stable rational way of thinking, to suddenly either wanting to lock ourselves away or punch someone's face in?
I know my age (as I am now considered a 'older' lady) and the time of the month makes a difference for me and I suppose, my body is getting ready for the 'change' so chemical imbalances in the body and all that crap must make a difference. I suppose knowing you've got the hump helps too, and I think knowing you are not feeling yourself is half way there to feeling yourself again.
So, what's the best thing to do? Lock yourself away and eat chocolate? push yourself to go out? be on your own or fill the day full of friends and loved ones that lift your spirits?
The latter sounds best, but what if you don't have any loved ones or friends?.....hells teeth, I think I am making myself feelworse!
Perhaps I should talk about something else, I know my arse needs kicking cos I am feeling so miserable, after all there is much worse going on outside in the big wide world, and I have the arse cos I fear the world turning darker on me and spending those dark days alone and frightened....oh no, wait a minute, that is quite a big thing I suppose, bugger it, I will proudly continue with the raging arse for the rest of the day, thank you very much!
I have made myself smile a bit, I always told myself that I would live for the day and not worry about the future, but sometimes, on days like these, the future is brought forward and pokes you in the face, the fact that I don't want to look at it might make me seem weak to some of you, but how can I face the future when I don't know what it is going to bring, how can anyone face the future. I mean, I do know what it will bring for my sight, but who is to say I wont die before that happens or there might be some magical cure. Either way, I am starting to get on my own nerves now!
Yesterday I did so much, I took Ralph for a two hour walk, did some weeding in the garden, discovered that I still have some potatoes in the pot that need digging up, and got some washing dry on the line, I even managed to spend a couple of hours with my feet up perusing Facebook.
I follow RNIB on Facebook, they often put up posts that are really interesting, yesterday there was a video of a lady named Kelly, let me see if I can put it on the blog...wait there...
Nope, I cant do it...anyway, its called Kelly's coloured canes, and that's exactly what it was about, coloured canes!!! What a fab idea, I want a coloured cane, think how brilliant it would be if you had a cane with lights on, brilliant for in the dark. They just cheered me up thinking about them!
Moving away for the stereotypical idea of what a blind person should look like is important for me, but what I find most interesting is other peoples comments under the video, if you have Facebook, tap RNIB in and have a look, I just think some people are right jobsworths and don't want change, as far as I can tell, does it really matter what colour your cane is, its all about the public being aware of you, and someone swiping a long cane along the ground says move outta my way or I am gonna crack your ankles no matter what colour it is!! and hey, did you know there is such thing as the white cane law?
Right, seeing as I now have, Ralph and two get lumps in the form of my girls in bed with me it seems I have to get myself out of bed, pull myself together and get on with the day!
Speak soon folks xx