Nailing it!

This week I was feeling like I needed to sort a few things out. You know what its like when you've been buzzing along keeping busy and all of a sudden you realise that the little list of jobs you have to do has turned into a massive list and you don't know where to start. So, I've been meaning to try and get my mobile phone sorted out, the bloody thing keeps cutting out mid conversation, it constantly says that the temperature outside is -4 and my location is Suffolk! The battery only lasts half a day and the little noises your phone makes when a text comes through no longer works either. OK, so I admit I've dropped it a couple of times, but everyone does that right? 
I chose this particular phone because the screen is nice and big, I can get massive font and its easy to use.
Anyway, off I trundle to the phone shop...why is there always a massive queue in these places? Actually, I know why there is such long queues...because the staff are trained to talk utter rubbish!  When I finally got to the attention of a member of staff I was shown to a trendy grey couch, and my phone lady whose English wasn't so good, sat at a tiny desk on a stool. It felt a lot like when you attend your five year olds parents evening, and you sit on tiny chairs designed for five year old bottoms at a low table, and your knees come over the top of the table, but the teacher is sat on HER adult chair looking down at you as she explains your child's progress
To be frank, I had no bloody idea what the phone lady was banging on about....you are not due a up-grade until June, BUT if you pay £150 today we can up-grade your phone for you.....WHAT??? I'm sorry...the £150 is for what exactly? …..this is ok, you do not have to up-grade today, you can do it another day....NO!! Really??…...but for now today I will do a system up-date and you phone will be working as new.....Now I'm really confused, if you can do a system thingy and my phone will be working as new, WHY would I pay £150 for a new phone.
 And so, for forty-five minutes the phone lady, scrolls, flicks and swipes, as far as I could tell, she did bugger all. 
Then with a sigh she says ...if you had a up-grade your phone would be newer and it would work better....ARE you bloody serious? Do you actually work here or did you just wander in off of the streets and sit you backside down on a stool!
She pushes my phone back across the table towards me and says...is there anything else I can help you with, took me a couple of deep breathes to maintain my composure, then I asked if she could cancel my insurance on the phone as I now have a new insurance policy attached to my bank account which covers all the mobile phones in my house..ohhhh yes of course, she then picks up my phone, turns her back slightly toward me and dials whatever number she needed to cancel my insurance, she had a nice long chat on my phone to the person on the other end of the phone, then all of a sudden she turns to me, passes me my phone and says...they want to talk to you!.....NO S**T I then spend another ten minutes trying to convince the person on the other end of the phone that I was indeed fully aware of the risks of cancelling the insurance, but I wasn't really bothered as at the moment I am paying TWO bloody insurance policies for one phone, so YES CANCEL IT!!
Finally we seemed to be singing from the same hymn sheet and she cancelled the policy.
I end the phone call and go to get up when the phone lady says....wait one moment, now that you have saved money by cancelling your insurance, maybe you would like to add a tablet to your phone for £11.99 a month on top of what you already pay and then we can up-grade your phone......I just looked at her in silence for a couple of seconds, not really trusting myself to speak, I got up and slowly gathered my belongings, smiled kindly at her and with all my strength said...No thank you, but thanks for all your help today, hope you have a lovely weekend.....my brain was screaming loads of other replies but there was a little girl sitting on the couch beside me with her Dad and I didn't think it would be fair. 
Outside, the sun was shining and I realised I had forgotten my sunglasses again, so I found a really shady spot, sat on a bench and, I wont lie, I was quite excited to see if this up-date thingy had worked...and that's all, considering my phone was saying it was -4 outside, the sun was really warm and everyone was walking around in t-shirts, the thingy had made no difference to my phone at all, in fact I would say its worse as now it wont stay connected to the internet and keeps switching the camera on while I am trying to text. As soon as my contract is up, I'm off to find a new deal and it wont be with the lady I spent all afternoon with.
Next I tackled Specsavers, I buy my contact lens solution from there, but because I use peroxide solution, they just don't seem to be able to sell it without giving a lecture on how to use it correctly, they also don't like selling it if you are not one of there customer and every time I go to buy it its like being a contestant on mastermind, yes I know how to use it, yes I understand the risks, yes I know how to store it correctly. HOWEVER, as I pushed my way through the door and mentally prepared myself to keep claim through the third degree of contact lens purchasing, the woman behind the till recognised me, and when I asked for the solution, she said, I don't need to ask you if you know how to use this stuff do I?....NO my lovely, you do not, I've been using it for the best part of thirty years.....the woman's colleague raised her eye brows at her and gave her a look which said...you aren't supposed to sell that stuff with out grilling the customer first....and to my astonishment, she turned to her colleague and said, this lady has worn contact lenses nearly all her life and has used this sort of solution for nearly as long, I suspect she could tell us more about it than we can tell her!! BOOOOOMMMM I don't like other people speaking for me but this lady just nailed it. I said thank you in a humbled tone, paid for my solution and left with my head held high, the business with the phone was forgotten, so I nipped across the road to buy chocolate to celebrate, and ate it while waiting for my taxi to arrive to deliver me home!
Two jobs marked off of the list, well six actually as I've done the things the lady from the bank told me to do! The list is slowly getting smaller, but the jobs are bigger, they are the horrible ones, the garden needs sorting, and my kitchen cupboards needs cleaning, but hey, tomorrow is another day!
I'm off to my bed, so speak soon...ohhhh, and before I forget, for anyone who didn't see Pink on the Brits the other night....go find it on YouTube, that woman is amazing xx