Christmas Do!!!

Hello folks, I truly don't know where the time is going, it doesn't seem often that I get a minute to sit down at this time of year let alone write a blog!
Last Friday I went for a drink after school with some of my work colleagues, originally it was planned that we would be going for a meal in a restaurant in Biggleswade, the thought of going somewhere I haven't been before fills me full of panic and dread, I knew that this particular venue is on the second floor of a building in the town, I really cant tell you all the problems that come with doing something like this, first and most important there's trust....and I'm certainly not saying I don't trust the people I work with, because in my work setting trust is paramount, but out of work, many of my work colleagues don't know that I am registered blind, also I do not expect others to look out for me, I hate feeling like I need help, on the other hand if someone doesn't tell me there is a step coming, or where the toilets are, I know I will end up flat on my face or in the broom cupboard! If I take my white stick out with me I risk the whole sympathy and a million questions thing, which really get on my nerves, I also have a serious problem when there are lots of people moving at the same time, I just cant move with them and it makes me dizzy, as I don't see peoples faces unless they are up close this can also cause a bit of a problem!
This venue, I had heard, is poorly lit, as most pubs are, so again I risk tripping over a chair leg, knocking drinks over or bumping into people, then I gotta try and read the flipping menu, not a chance! I carry a small magnifier in my handbag but in a busy poorly lit pub its as much use as a chocolate fire guard! If there is one thing I would like to see in restaurants its large print menus, I have started, If I know I am going to a specific place, looking up the place online, reading their menu, choosing what I fancy to eat, jotting it down and giving it to whoever I am going out with to order for me...this kinda backfires if the meal I want isn't available! so it would be lovely to have a large print menu, they wouldn't need loads, it really cant be that difficult! So, where was I, oh yes, then I have to eat, in the semi dark in front of people who I don't usually eat in front of, so I will have had to have chosen 'safe' foods! THEN what about if they all want do go to a different pub after the meal...more panic...what if I get separated from the person I have latched myself onto, what happens if the pub we go into has changed since the last time I was in there and things are in a different place, what if its busy....WHAT if there is someone I know in the pub and I ignore them because I am sooo busy concentrating on pretending I know what I am doing, what happens if someone is horrible to me, what if there's flashing lights or very loud music,  what if I have a panic attack, what if I tread in dog poo on the way do the other pub, what happens if I go to the loo and my latched onto person has MOVED!! Can you see all the things I, and people like me, have to think about when someone says, Do you wana go on the Christmas do? No longer can I shove £20 in my coat pocket and clear off to the pub for a couple of after school drinks with my pals without thinking twice. I even have to place money in certain parts of my purse so I know what coins they are without bringing them up to my nose to inspect them so I can work out that my 20p is actually a 50p, I suppose by organising myself as well as I do I portray a false image of what my life is really like, but for me, its about pride, I will not put myself in a position where I could possibly make myself look, well, look blind I suppose, then I read this back and wonder if I really have accepted the way things are or am I just trying to cover my tracks all the time!
Anyway, can you imagine my delight when the Christmas do is cancelled, and the teacher from the classroom opposite ours (who is a lovely lady) suggests that we all go to the pub near the school, straight from school, them people can do whatever they like, some might go home and meet up later, some might stay the whole evening. I am feeling a warm happy glow, I know where every step, bump in the carpet and where every chair will be in this pub, as I am going straight from school, I know it wont be too busy at 3.45, so I will be able to get a seat and sip my diet coke. I stayed for an hour, and enjoyed every minute, I know its hard for some people to understand my little triumphs, I don't know if this makes sense, but I like to be included as I was and not how I am now, I ever want anyone to tip toe around me it is what it is, there would have been no way I would have been happy at the first venue and I certainly would never have expected it to be changed on my behalf, but the fact that it did change gives me a little sparkle because its the difference between achievement and failure, and I much prefer to achieve. SO, THANK YOU lady from the other classroom x