Guide Dogs

Hello everyone, I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and a very Happy and Healthy New Year to you all.
Sunday 27th Dec, its a dark and wet day, one daughter is at work, the other is playing on her tablet, the other half has gone home to do stuff, and I can feel my mood changing....I have already eaten my own weight in chocolate this morning! So if I don't do something I shall be feeling proper fed up by tea time, I can see how people can easily get down in the dumps this time of year, I want to walk the dog, but as he is such a tiny little fella, he would get soaked and grumpy, best leave him curled up like a little pretzel under the radiator!
This got me thinking about dogs, a couple of years ago the idea of getting a Guide Dog was suggested to me, my girls were a few years younger then, and the idea of getting a dog was just amazing for them, but this actually put me off. A Guide dog is a working dog, he or she would be a 'tool' for me, not a family pet.
But, I was talked into having a lady from Guide dogs for the blind association come to my house to talk about the pros and cons....well, I never realised all the hard work, trust and a very long winded process there was with getting a Guide Dog. The lady was very nice and had a massive happy personality, she arrived at 12 lunch time and didn't go home until 6 tea time!
Firstly you are matched to a dog, not the other way around, someone would come from the association and spend a lot of time getting to know me and my family, once they had found a match, then I would have to go away for three weeks training on how to operate this finely tuned animal, then there would be more training at home for my family. I remember sitting there listening to this lady telling me what a massive difference this would make to my life, and all I could think about was 'What if I broke it???' You have to be incredibly strict in the way you present yourself to a Guide Dog, when they have their jacket on or their lead, they are working, you have to stick to a routine that the dog knows, no one else can take the dog when we are out, so if I was walking with one of my daughters, and they wanted to take the lead but link arms with me, that would upset the dog, i'm not saying the when the dog is not working, you cant love it like a pet, but you cant play rough, no rolling around the carpet with it, or dressing it up, or playing tug of war with a rope, my children, especially my youngest would have found this very hard not to do, it IS possible to 'break' a guide dog, to trash the dogs and the trainers hard work, hours and hours of work go into training a Guide dog, and that dog is a massively intellectual animal. I also felt, at the time, that I wasn't ready for that stage, I felt like if I was given a Guide dog I was giving in, getting a little bit closer to being the person I refuse to be, I didn't want to accept that at some point I would need a Guide Dog, and it was truly one of my, stick my head in the sand and ignore everyone moments...it will go away! But it didn't go away, everyone was on my case, when will WE get a Guide dog Mum, despite all the advantages, and believe me there were masses of them, a Guide dog would improve my mobility and do wonders for my confidence, but what about my girls, I would be constantly moaning at them to leave the dog alone, and then there was work,  the dog would have to come to work with me, which meant providing somewhere to go to the loo and having somewhere safe for the dog to be while I was in the classroom, as there was no way a dog would survive in our classroom.
So, I was left to mull it over for a few days and then the lady would contact me and we would get the ball rolling, I didn't sleep for two nights worrying about making the right decision. I remember laying in my bed thinking about all the other people waiting on the list for a Guide dog, and I would be accepting something that I felt I wasn't ready for.....also, the fact that I was thinking about it, in my eyes, meant that it would be wrong for me to go ahead, I have always been good at making decisions and usually don't have to think twice, its wrong or its right and that's that! but this time it just wasn't sitting right with me, so when the call came I turned down the offer but I am on a list where if I make the call, I will be given priority for training etc.
As the time has trickled on, and my loss of sight becomes more 'real' I can understand the need to have the security of a Guide dog, earlier this year, I brought my girls a puppy, they love him, play with him, dress him up chase him (and he chases back) and stick to a vague routine...all the things we should avoid with a Guide dog. In the back of my mind, I know when the time comes I will feel happier about it, I have set things up so that we have Ralph and the girls are older, they understand the difference between Ralph and a Guide dog.
On Christmas eve I went to Hitchin with my daughter, we went into Waitrose at 8.30 in the morning, and it was heaving with crazy people doing their Christmas food shop, we only wanted cheese and grapes, I took my stick, but all the people moving about so quickly made my balance off, I could only use the stick half open, so I couldn't roll it one the floor as there were so many people, IF I had had a Guide dog, I really think it would have been a completely different experience, a dog is more visual for others and my daughter would have been more relaxed instead of worrying I was going to have a panic attack or someone was going to run me over with their trolley! I also would have been happier, relaxed and confident that people would have given me a little more time, even at the checkout people are huffing and puffing because I need to be a little slower than they would like..... perhaps, maybe, possibly its time to look into the possibility of a Guide Dog....maybe...