Stupid Things

  Someone once told me that if we all put our problems into a pile we would soon be pulling our own out and running for cover, this is the philosophy I try to maintain and I often feel ashamed after I have had a 'feel sorry for myself day' that I haven't tried harder to pull myself together.
That said, there are some really stupid things that make my life so much more difficult....like cling film or sellotape, I mean cling film is a tricky thing for most people especially blokes, but there's been a million times when I cant find the end or pour mayo onto a bowl of tuna only to find someone has put cling film over the bowl and the mayo looks like it is magically hovering above the tuna! 
I also find I miss read labels, when I am in a busy supermarket I find I am unable to concentrate on what's around me AND do the shopping, as soon as I enter a shop my mind goes blank, but I also have a problem with lists! when I was going shopping with my Mum or My Sister, I would tell them what I wanted and they would remember, then I started shopping with my Daughters....who DONT remember, so I need to write a list, only I loose lists so I have learnt to write 3 or 4 lists and stash them in various places, purse, jeans pocket, coat pocket, behind the case of my phone AND one each for the Daughters, by the end of the shopping trip we are lucky if we have any lists left! THEN came the day I thought I would try shopping on my own!!! I caught the bus using my newly acquired bus pass into Hitchin, I had 5 shopping lists stashed around my person, I was sooooo proud of myself for getting the bus on my own, strutting, confident, head held high, like I was some super hero, I waltz into Waitrose and pulled out my first list.....only to find I had written it too bloody small, I couldn't read it, what a pratt, I thought I was so cool, I had remembered everything, except to write my own bloody shopping list big enough for me to be able to read it. So, what do I do, ask someone to read it for me?...HELL NO! I picked up  basket, big smile on my face, marched to the chocolate isle, filled my basket with chocolate and sweets, did the till thing and caught the next bus home, when I got in I got the magnifier out, and what do you know? Toothpaste, cotton wool, washing up liquid....no sign of bloody chocolate or sweets at all :)
One time I brought bread, I stood looking at a long isle of bread, thinking right, ok we usually have the blue one, I pick up the blue one, you can imagine the up roar when the kids came home from school and I had made their marmite sandwiches with Omega 3 bread....fish and marmite.....you gotta love it or hate it!...they hated it!
Then there was the time I did a whole weeks worth of laundry with what I thought was detergent and it was fabric conditioner......then the time when I thought I could install my new dishwasher on my own, which resulted in me getting stuck in a tiny cupboard, water pipe in one hand which was pissing water all over me, bucket in the other, but I couldn't make them meet because the space was too small, all because I hadn't seen there was TWO little taps and I had turn the wrong one off, the daughters and I ended up laughing hysterically as I squelched around the kitchen trying to clean up the river on the floor.....enter furious boyfriend who demands to know why I don't do as I am told.......everyone knows I NEVER do as I am told...