Well, I finally have my laptop back, my daughter has finished her final assessment and it has all been handed in, so hopefully I will be able to chat to you more often.
Its been a strange kind of a week, and the pressure has been on, with my youngest mid way through her GCSE's, and finding all she seems to do is revise, take exams and sleep! and my eldest as I said, finishing her final assessment, passing her driving test, buying a car, finding reasonable priced car insurance, road tax and parking permits...the list goes on, all this as well as dragging myself through a incredibly busy week at work.
By Saturday the stress had taken its toll on my youngest and I woke up to a blubbering mess, so, we had a chat and a cuddle then we got washed and dressed and went to lunch, we spent the whole day together. My youngest isn't one for crowds, so we only went as far as Hitchin, which is half and hour bus ride. We had lunch and then looked around the shops, the sun was out as was my purse, and we splashed out on new make-up.
We were following the flow of people and there was this woman trotting along in front of us with these two small children, without warning, she squats down, seriously its sounds quite funny now, but it was so wired, when I am walking I tend to focus on the person in front of me for guidance I suppose, I do it without realising, so I had focused on this woman, then she literally drops out of my line of vision, for a couple of seconds I had no idea what was happening, I panicked internally, I could feel my brain franticly telling my eyes to look for a new focus, but where did the woman go, my brain was really scrambling, I knew people just don't disappear when they are walking....wait, she had kids....kids are low to the ground...LOOK DOWN FOR GODS SAKE LYNDA!! The woman was literally at my feet, I was still moving, I knew I had to stop because I was either going to kick her in the teeth or go flying over the top of her, she was totally oblivious to the world around her and was happily chatting to her infant while sorting his shoe lace, I have no idea how I missed her, truly no idea!
It all took a matter of seconds and after I had half scooted around and half leapt over this woman, my daughter and I just looked at each other...no words needed!!
After our shopping we decided to go for a swim, no probs right? We went home grabbed our stuff...Saturday afternoon on a hot sunny day...perfect time for a blind woman to go swimming right?
In my small and inferior brain I thought the indoor pool would be empty, cos all the brave swimmers would be outside in the Olympic size pool.....it seems I overestimated the brawn of the British, and there were some brave souls in the out door pool, but the indoor was packed. I stood there, cane in one hand, towel in the other looking at all these people splashing and screaming in the pool and though ...ohhhh F**k, the temptation to turn on my heel and rush back to the changing room was wildly tempting, but I had promised my daughter we were going swimming, so swimming we will go!! Right in the corner of the deep end beside two little boys diving off the side there was a small space, so we headed for the gap, I was literally crapping myself, as we walked past the life guard he lend down and asked if I was OK.
I explained that I was a bit worried, thinking that maybe he would keep a little eye on me just in case...but noooo, don't worry he says, we will open a lane for you...and that was exactly what he did, I had my very own private lane, my daughter and I swam without any pressure it was fab, I was so grateful to Hitchin swimming pool, just to not have to worry about the other people swimming or the noises that distort and confuse the way I cope in the pool, I really enjoyed it and managed 20 strong lengths.
I felt so special, its not about feeling superior or getting preferential treatment, it was truly a wonderful supportive thing, something many people will not understand, I didn't have to be on guard, be fully alert to the goings on around me, that is something truly precious, something that I very rarely am able to do, so thank you again, who would know opening a lane just for me would make me feel so overwhelmed....and I totally made use of it, my legs felt like lead when I got out!!
Well am off to bed, my youngest has 5 more days of exams to go and I have another busy week ahead, so I say goodnight, hope you all have a safe week.
Speak soon xx
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