So, going back to the whole Tesco and the lady with the cane thing, oh and by the way, I was talking about it to my daughter a couple of days ago, and she said there was also a guide dog with them, I hadn't seen the dog at all! Sometimes I shock myself at the things I miss. Anyway, the point I was trying to make is that there are lots of different ways of achieving what you set out to do, lots of people take for granted that they can just pop into a supermarket and are able to remember what they went in for, others, like me, have to plan the whole procedure, I think about everything I do before I do it and I avoid situations that I know will be challenging for an easy option. I have been taught to follow familiar routines and accompanying that you inevitably encounter certain 'behaviours' from others around you....for example, just suppose its Thursday lunch time and I realise I don't have enough milk to last until Saturday when my delivery comes, If I go to Asda to get milk after work, which is the most familiar supermarket near where I work, it is going to be busy, there will be parents with children just out of school, hungry, moody and tired running around the shop, parents will be starting to become less patient and start moving quicker just to get out of the shop faster, so I avoid after work on Thursday, if I leave it until Friday after school it will be 100% worse as everyone seems to do a big shop on a Friday, so the best bet will be Friday morning at 8am on the way to work, I now there wont be many people about and the people that are about will still behalf asleep, I will be confident in making my way straight to the milk, and can be in and out within literally 10 mins. This is how my whole life pans out now, I assess every move I make, considering a option that is less stressful and is safer for me, this has taken years, not only to perfect but also to come to terms with, it now on longer upsets me that I need a sort of mental backup plan before I go anywhere, so to see this woman dumped in the middle of chaos I found deeply distressing, this is not how you learn to cope with everyday life, this is how you terrify someone so much that they are afraid to go out, they stay home sitting on the sofa and let 'more able' people do their shopping for them, how dare anyone take that privilege away from anyone, I can bet that the woman will avoid Tesco when she is on her own in future, either that or she will adopt a attitude of thinking that your disability goes before anyone else, and that's crap!
Independence is a very valuable thing that can be given up way to easily, I suppose the fact that I am stubborn and bloody minded helps me to support myself, but even then I have to be careful, because if you keep refusing help people stop offering it, so it is a very fine line that each one of us has to find our own balance of and knowing when there is something that we really need help with, and of course asking the right people for support helps too.
New year eve started damp and cold as we would expect here in January, but we had a great time, we arrived at the hotel at 4pm, took our time getting ready, then we walked for a whole 10 mins to the venue, again, I cant tell you how many times I looked at google maps to check the route, and its not like I haven't been to Stevenage a million times, but at night everything looks different. when we got there my heart sank into my boots, there we were all dressed up and the queue in front of us didn't seem to have a single person under 85 years old, all brown trousers and cardigans, i felt my two girls were standing out like sore thumbs, mum and I fitted in okish but I felt awful for the girls.
we were all led into a massive sports hall with a spongy rubber floor, that put me off balance ever so slightly, and a long temporary bar. Not a Christmas tree or decoration in sight. My youngest was really disappointed and asked if we would go back to the hotel, get a Mc Donald's and watch films on the TV, just as I was considering it we were given our free glass of bucks fizz and shown through to another hall....this was more what we had been expecting...
The hall was like a massive tent, the walls were sparkling with twinkly lights, the stage was lit up with multi coloured lights and the tables looked beautiful. There was also more of a mix of ages which was good to see.
Its not a very good picture, but you get the idea, once I had sat down I wasn't moving so my daughter retrieved my buffet meal and pudding, which I must say was very nice too.
The show was called, 'That'll be the day' and started with music from the 50's going through the 60s and 70s eras, I wasn't sure the girls would like it but was surprised to find them singing along with everyone else!
Despite my expectation of it being a complete disaster it was actually a good night, I truly didn't move from my seat all night, mostly because it was so dark and everyone was moving around and dancing, but also because I didn't need to, I was happy people watching!
we left just after midnight as there was so many people it was a case of wait until last or nip out first, we walked back to the hotel with fireworks still going off, and I didn't feel how I usually feel on NYE, I did make a few resolutions, realistic resolutions that is...listen to more music and laugh more were near the top of my list, and now we are safely transitioned into a new year I hope it will be a happy and healthy one for me and mine, and you and yours
Speak soon xx
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