Cirque Du Soleil

What a day we had yesterday going into London to see Cirque Du Soleil at the Royal Albert Hall. I have written my review and emailed it off to RNIB Connect and now I thought I would share with you the utter bloody delights of myself and my Mother on a day out in London. 
Luckily, yesterday was beautiful, the sun shone, the sky was blue(ish) and although it was cold it wasn't freezing, I even managed to get away with wearing just one pair of socks under my boots instead of the usual three.
The show started at 3oclock in the afternoon so Mum and I caught the 12.24 train from home into Finsbury Park, hoping on the Piccadilly line, enjoying the swift trip down the line to south Kensington and then walking the short trip to the Royal Albert in the sunshine arriving there in time to have a lovely glass of wine and a slice of cake before the performance began......only joking!!
We got on the train going to Finsbury Park and found two seats, got ourselves settled and then realised the reason these two seats were empty was because they were beside the loo where someone must have had a bowel problem because the stench coming form under the loo door was putrid, A few stops down the line and Mum managed to spot a couple of empty seats in the next carriage, so we grabbed them quick. The rest of the journey to Finsbury Park was much more pleasant. Once we got off at FP we needed to get the tube, now, anyone that knows me will know that I am one for needing to know exactly where I am going, so I had looked up the route, checked and double checked it, I even wrote it all down clearly on a sheet of paper so Mum would be able to follow my awful writing clearly, but no, my directions failed at the first hurdle and the tube we needed wasn't where my sheet of paper said it was, so we had to rely on the good old fashioned common sense and read the signs, which put us safely in the right direction. Once we were safely seated on the tube I began counting down the stops to South Kensington (the amount of stops was also something I had also written down wrongly on my sheet) and as we approached the stop I thought should have been our stop I felt a wave of panic as I realised the words being spoken over the loud speaker did not match the words on my sheet. I screwed up the sheet and chucked it in my bag. Two stops later and the words matched so we got off and followed the crowd, only to find the crowd had just switched platforms and were waiting for another train! Undefeated we once again looked at the signs and found the 'way out'.
As I had screwed up my sheet, I decided the best way forward would be to use the sat nav app thingy on my phone to get us to the Royal Albert, so my phone tells me to turn right and off we went, I remembered writing on my sheet that the walk from the tube to the hall should take about eight minutes. Twenty minutes later and I decided that the app on my phone was indeed shit and we were completely lost.
Mum took charge and grabbed my cane steering us across the road and into a florist to ask for directions, the florist who was really lovely took us back out onto the street and pointed to some traffic lights a couple of feet away, told us to turn left and follow the road around the bend a little way and this will bring us back to the tube station where we just need to follow the signs for the Royal Albert Hall. How the hell had we walked so far and yet been so close? Anyway after many swear words, we finally arrived at the hall with fifteen minutes to spare before the performance started.
Honestly, we managed to find Stella McCartney, but find the Royal Albert..nope, no where to be seen!
I love this building, and I hope its sight will always remain in my memory, its so beautiful and awesome. From the moment we stepped through the doors we were treated with respect and care. 

We were taken in the lift by a member of staff to our box and seated without any problems. Two gentlemen who were sat in front of us moved to a different box which left us to jump into the front seats and obtain a perfect view of the stage below. 

So, Cirque Du Soleil are like acrobats, dressed as different insects and they give the most amazing show ever. I was quite literally sat on the edge of my seat as these humans were being tossed around in the air like flakes of paper. I cant remember the last time I went though so many different emotions in such a short time, horror, relief, amazement, love and pure admiration for the trust and devotion these people have for each other. At times they were hanging or being swung by a foot or a hand, often defying the laws of gravity and balance. Definitely something we shouldn't try at home. 

On the stage throughout the performance there was a love story being played out between a fly and a ladybird, this bringing all the laughs and coo's which was sometimes a relief as it gave a chance for your heart to stop beating through your mouth and start beating normally before the next act came on. At no point during the show did their performance slip and they kept producing all the gasps and breath holding right to the very end, where some men dressed a lot like greenfly climbed to the top of a climbing wall, which was nearly the height of the hall, and leapt off the wall onto massive trampolines below and bounced back up on to the wall landing on their feet, and one point there was six greenfly all bouncing and jumping at the same time, incredible timing and bravery.

The whole hall fell silent as an insect rode a unicycle along a tightrope and a group of ants used each other as flying trapeze.

As we neared the end of the performance, I began to worry about the journey home and how the hell we were going to get back to the tube. So, Mum and I slowly gathered all our stuff and organised and prepared ourselves for London on a Friday evening at 5oclock.

On goes my coat, and I put my hand in my coat pocket for my train ticket and its not there, we searched through my bag, but no I had lost my bloody train ticket.

Gutted at the thought of having to buy another ticket we made our way out of the hall and onto the street, in the darkness I realised I had no idea which direction the tube station was, so this time instead of following the crowd, we asked for directions. A lovely man talked us through the eight minute walk and luckily we were at the tube in no time at all. All the time I kept checking for my ticket but it didn't show up. As we approached the gates at the tube station, I say approached, anyone who tries to get home from London on a Friday evening will tell you the public turn into animals and its each for their own, people push, shove and will jump over you if necessary. At the disabled gate I almost cried to the staff member that I had lost my ticket. He informed me that they would have to keep me underground then...to which I stupidly replied...but I'm hungry...so he let me through and told me not to worry about my lost ticket. The tube was rammed and my cane certainly did nothing to get me a seat, and the old familiar panic began to rise as the carriage got busier and hotter, Mum had got moved a little further down the isle and I knew I needed a focus before all hell broke loose and I had a full on panic attack on the packed train, Mum could see me changing my breathing to try and calm myself and began trying to calm me, but it wasn't working, after a few minutes I noticed that the two people in front of me where, quite frankly, talking a load of bollocks to each other so I listened in, this distracted me long enough for us to reach the kings cross stop and the train almost emptied. From then on British rail staff were fab, they let me though all the barriers and helped us find the platform for the quickest train home.

Despite my usual disasters Mum and I had a fantastic time, The show was truly amazing and I feel so lucky, not only to have won the tickets but also to have had our own box to observe it from.

Today I am exhausted and have spent most of the day curled up on the sofa writing to you!

Speak again soon x 

A Little news

Does anyone else get their hair caught in their glasses?? If there is one thing that will piss me off instantly, its getting a single strand of hair caught in the hinge of the arm of my glasses. What's worse is, I only wear my glasses to pop across to the loo first thing in the morning, while I am in the bathroom I put my contact lenses in, and at night my contact lenses come out as soon as my backside hits the bed mattress and my glasses will be on my face for about 15 minutes and still when I go to pull them off, PING, another bloody strand of hair is yanked out by the roots. I suppose some people are more sensitive to having their hair pulled, and some people quite like it there is a special time and place for that, BUT when its pulled out by your glasses as you stand at the bathroom sink at 6.30 in the morning all I want to do is throw the bloody things on the floor and stamp on them until they are nothing more than dust!
Anyway, now I have that out of my system I will tell you my news...Firstly the OH appointment is THIS week, a letter came Saturday morning with the appointment date for this Thursday, I keep getting waves of excitement at the prospect of getting back to work, sharply followed by waves of panic that they will think I am no longer any used to anyone and therefore decided I need sacking. Fingers crossed for a positive outcome!
Secondly, I don't think I have told you this before, but I am one of the most unlucky people in the world, I don't mean terrible things happen to me, I mean if someone brought sixty scratch cards and gave me fifty-five of them keeping five for themselves, I wouldn't win a thing while they would win thousands, so when I had a email from the RNIB last Friday asking if I would like to enter myself in for a chance of getting tickets to the Royal Albert Hall to see Cirque du soleil this week, in return for writing a review I immediately entered, half knowing that I didn't really stand a chance, imagine my surprise when I got a phone call yesterday saying I had won two tickets....this never happens, I don't know what I am more excited about, a trip to the Royal Albert, or writing a review! I love writing, that would be my idea job, to visit places and write reviews on them, but at the moment getting back into my usual routine is proving hard enough. But, I am looking forward to submitting my 500 words on Monday. 
Thirdly, I started swimming again yesterday, and fudge me I ache this morning, I (we, my friend and I) swam 11 lengths, it was quite busy, but It felt great to be back on it, I would really like to build up enough confidence to be able to go swimming on my own and be able to swim away from the edge of the pool. At the moment, I think I am going to focus on building up my strength again and build up the lengths slowly, learning to steer around other swimmers and keep the momentum up! 
I am still writing in my diary every night, making sure I only write positive things, it seems to be helping my sleep to be thinking about positive things, some days, obviously, its quite hard to think of a positive, especially days like last Sunday, when the weather was so crappy, we spent all day in our pjs watching TV, in fact I had to sit through so many episodes of Kardashian's I know all their names now! Long gone are the days when the girls an I would stay in on horrible days watching Scooby Doo all day, I think I would have rather watched Scooby Doo than the K's. Right, I am rambling on about nothing now, so I will leave you and speak to you all after I have been to Royal Albert Hall. x

Counting my lucky stars

Yesterday, my friends, I successfully managed to set fire to my washing machine......the first bloody day in weeks that the sun has shone and the wind has been strong enough to dry washing on the washing line...and the only wet washing I had was singed and smelt of burning and only fit for the bin! However, I count my lucky stars that I hadn't gone out or done the washing over night like I usually do otherwise things could...no, definitely would be a whole lot different today. 
Now I have a new washing machine and dishwasher on order, an order that cant be delivered until the 4th Feb, bloody marvellous! I wonder if anyone would notice if I did the washing-up and my laundry at the same time in the kitchen sink? I refuse to let this get me down, I promised myself that I would maintain a positive attitude throughout this year, two bloody weeks into January and already I am being tested, but tonight when I write in my diary I will still write something positive and put the negative to one side.
In fairness, the washing machine has been playing up for a few days, so I had a little nagging voice in my head warning me to be careful with it, but I had just popped upstairs for literally 2 minutes when I heard Ralph whimpering, thinking he had hurt himself I came rushing downstairs to find the kitchen full of a foul smelling smoke and big electrical popping sounds which could only mean that I needed to move bloody quickly, stupidly I just yanked the plug out of the wall socket when I suppose I should have gone to the main switch board thingy and flipped off all the electrics, but hey, nothing like a little shock to wake you up in the morning!
Ralph and I managed to get the clothes out of the machine, but they were nasty....Ralph and I just stood there looking at each other and then looking at the heap of disgusting clothes on the floor, if I left the clothes wet I would never get rid of the smell and my best jeans were in there and daughter number ones new clothes, so I shoved them all into a bag, grabbed Ralphs lead and we ran to the bus stop, jumped on the bus, to the relief of all the other bus goes we got off a few stops down taking the foul smell with us and took the washing to mums, where she did some kind of mystical magical miracle and a couple of hours later the washing was returned, clean, dry, ironed and smelling like wild flowers on a summers day! I cant wait for the day that I turn into a hero mum, actually maybe you never realise that you have turned into a hero mum, perhaps it time we started telling our hero parents that they are hero's!!
Anyway, all drama aside, the important thing for me at the moment is that I seem to be continuing to be able to see through the black smudge that is my friend the floater, my confidence is definitely returning in leaps and bounds. The girls and I took the train to Woodbridge two weekends ago, there wasn't a single moment when the dark bothered me as we did three different station changes on a Friday night. I am so very lucky to have friends who we can go to and feel so welcome, there is never any expectations we do what we want, wear what we want and talk about the strangest things over Sunday dinner. So I have been set up with a dose of the tinkling boats, fresh sea air and cosy calm chatter, mind you, if this current bout of things breaking continues I might find myself packing bags, getting back on the train and finding detachment from it all. 
I am feeling so confident that I am going to start swimming again next week, my lovely friend and I will be braving the cold water at Hitchin pool on Monday morning, and hopefully things will start falling into place now and before I know it I will be back at work pissing everyone off with my constant bossiness. 
well, I suppose I should go and walk Ralph, the sun is out again, and its windy, bloody typical another day where I could have had washing on the line, just you wait, as soon as I get a new machine, the April showers will start early!!
Speak soon x

Another new year!

Happy new year to you all. I, personally, am more than happy to say good bye to 2017, and now, with the door firmly shut on it I hope this year will be better. Of course, I am a strong believer that life is what you make it and your attitude towards life's struggles defines how you cope and in turn makes you stronger.
So I start January with a fresh positive attitude, for Christmas I was given a diary, quite a big one, in fact its unusual in that its pretty, colourful and just like me, different. I am going to write in it every day with at least one positive thing that has happened during the day, no matter how small. 
This new years eve Mum and I went to the cinema and then for a meal, while my girls stayed home and drank too much Bacardi..I used my newly acquired cinema card, CEA card, and Mum got to see the movie for free, I wasn't really looking forward to it because I was worried about how the bright screen might affect the floater especially as one of the things to avoid was the cinema, but I need not have worried, other than a head ache the next day I was fine. TGI Fridays were fab, I had already emailed them and asked for a fairly well lit table and a large print menu if they could, they didn't fuss, we had a lovely table, it was up some steps but the waiter quietly talked me up them, they hadn't got a large print menu but he was happy to talk me through it. I had already checked out the menu while I was at home on-line and chosen starter and main. It was a lovely evening and a fab way to start the new year.
So, with my daily job list and writing a positive thing in my diary each day, I feel like this year is definitely starting differently....I stood in the garden new years day and the air smelt fresh, it was so quiet, I had that little spark inside my tummy like when you know everything will be ok, and then it started to rain, and it poured down for the rest of the day, but it didn't matter because I was something I haven't been in a long while...Happy!
A few days into January and I realised I could see better, I don't mean a miracle had occurred and suddenly I could see again, I mean my brain has started to manage the floater better, its still there and if I look for it, I can see it, its still in my central vision, but I seem to be able to see through it. I don't think I can see as well as I did before the floater arrived, but there has been a definite improvement. Hugely excited, I dashed about telling myself that I could be back to work next week, so I made an appointment at the doctors to get signed back on and emailed all the important people to let them know I thought I was ready to get back to normality. Only for it to occur to me that things might not be that easy, getting back to work certainly isn't that easy as I have to see various people to check that I am safe to be in the school environment for both the pupils and myself, this I totally understand, and the fact that I haven't been anywhere for the last three weeks or more might be leading me into a false sense of security. By this I mean, I have been following the instructions given to me by my consultant and those that I found on the internet about treating a floater, I have literally done everything by the book, I have rested, not spent too much time on the computer, drunk more fluid, taken gentle exercise, made sure I sleep well, but all these things have been done in my own environment, where there are no children moving around quickly, and no demands on me, there are no time limits when I am at home, there is no pressure to read or write, at home if I feel I have done too much, I rest...that is not transferable into the working day. Also, no two days are the same, the weather makes a difference, bright sunshine makes the floater blacker, dull rainy days makes it less visible. However, to my mind, the only way to find out if I can manage back at work, is to go back to work. Meeting with the Occupational Health isn't a nice feeling, initially the thought of having a referral to them made me feel like everyone thought I was lying, or that my employer was looking for ways to sack me, but its a process that has to be gone through to protect me, my employer and the children in my care. So I wait for the appointment to come, take each day as a new one and look forward to what ever happens.
I am not sure how Ralph will be when I get back to work, animals can be funny about having the routine changed, he has become used to me being in all day, used to snuggling up and sleeping on my lap. I am pretty sure he will cop the nark, he had a mood on for three days when we put the Christmas tree up cos the grumpy little bugger doesn't like change....and lord help you if a suitcase comes out of the loft, he will take to his bed and not want to move!
Anyway, Happy new year again and I will keep you all updated x

Home Remedies

I have had a really interesting week. At the weekend I had become really frustrated with myself, I miss being at work and I especially miss being there at Christmas time, Christmas at our school is a glitter filled crazy chaos, this year I have been so sad to miss all the cake and biscuit making, the visit to Church, decorating gifts to send home and creating Christmas cards that wont ever stand up on their own as they are so heavy with glue and glitter, if, at the end of the day, the classroom wasn't covered completely in glitter and tiny pieces of pretty paper, then we hadn't had a good day. I miss seeing the change in their behaviours as they get nearer to Christmas, good or bad, they are expressing that they know something is different. there is nothing more beautiful than seeing pleasure in an autistic child's eyes.
I spent all Sunday thinking about all the things they would be getting up too during the last week of school and found myself making the decision that I wasn't going to wait around for this big black mark to move off my central vision, and declared that I would be signing myself back to work in January.....this was met with a big fat NO from my family. Feeling slightly disgruntled I took myself off to bed in a foul mood and sat in bed surfing the interworld! 
After a while of finding nothing but crap, I tapped in 'How to get rid of floaters' the stuff that I already know came up, but then there was this webpage all about home remedies, so, the first two important factors are to relax and avoid stressful situations,(haha) then followed some food types, diet changes, avoid watching television or spending too much time on the computer, sleep well, yoga, drink plenty of water, eye exercise and massage....
Out of the list, eating the foods listed will not help my colitis so I cant change that, sleep well never happens at this time of year, but I will try, relaxing and avoiding stressful situations...seriously, this year has been the most stressful year I can remember, yoga..yup I can do yoga, drinking more isn't a problem I can do that too, I don't really watch TV and I can limit the time spent on the computer. That leaves eye exercise and massage, so I gave it a go...well, fudge me! you would never have said massaging the skin around your eyes would make a difference, it also said to massage you thumbs..YES YOUR THUMBS, and it works, honestly, every so often throughout the day I rubbed the top of my thumbs and my vision became clearer. I don't know where all this yoga and massage originates, but these people really know their shit, it also said the massage your big toes, this also  was pleasantly surprising. Through following these guidelines I have noticed this week that I am definitely coping better with the floater, it hasn't gone away, but my brain seems to be starting to see through it. This has put me in a completely different place, I have now learnt to explore different things, have faith in my ability to change the course of events, don't ask me how it works, I have no clue, but I am very happy to be standing in the middle of a busy Waitrose massaging my thumbs, because not only is it helping me focus, the massage seems to relax me too, which in turn is helping with the anxiety crowded places cause. 
With all this new found confidence, I took my first topic assessment for the Psychology I am studying, I had already had a little chat with myself and had decided that if I failed the first test, I would give up as I clearly wasn't brainy enough for re educating myself. To pass you needed 80% or above, if you got below the 80 you needed to keep trying until your score was high enough....wellll, I am massively excited to say I came in at 90% on the first try, although I only got two questions wrong, one of them I knew the right answer, but it was one of those split seconds when you doubt yourself and opt for the wrong answer, but whatever it doesn't matter cos it appears I am quite clever after all!
And I continued thinking I was clever until today....this afternoon actually, I popped into Hitchin with Mum on the bus, we wondered around slowly, watching all the manic shoppers stuffing massive amounts of food and drink into their trollies, and we were feeling reasonably smug as we didn't really need to be there, I picked up a 9 pack of loo rolls and was happily swinging them beside me as I rocked up to the till to pay for them, I am pretty sure the woman in front of me had little beads of sweat forming on her forehead as she paid the £345 shopping bill. I happily paid my £3.50 for my loo rolls and Mum and I swaggered towards the exit and out. Only OUT was dark, night had fallen really quickly and we made our way towards the bus stop. I really wasn't feeling it, there were people rushing around, traffic everywhere as folks knocked off from work and fled for home, but we got to the bus stop fairly unscathed. When the bus rolled up, it was a double decker, which as usual sent a ripple of excitement through the old folks, I could hardly make it out as it pulled up because it was absolutely filthy, the windows were covered in dirt, sitting down stairs I couldn't see a thing out of the windows. 
As we trundled along it suddenly dawned on me that I had no idea where we were, Mum was struggling too, but reckoned she would know when we reached our village, which she did. Mum gets off at a stop before me, which sent a shiver of panic through me as how would I know when it was my stop??? In her wisdom, Mum says its OK, your stop is four stops up. Well, its a bloody good job I had a back up plan cos the bloody bus didn't stop at any other stop, as no-one wanted to get on and no-one wanted to get off....thank god I had clocked a oldie who I know gets off at the stop before mine so as soon as she was off I pressed the 'bus stopping' bell and luckily it ground to a stop at the correct stop. Again I hadn't considered that sitting in a brightly lit bus would have such an effect when stepping off the bus into the darkness. I had to stand still and let my sight adjust to the change in light. I felt a right prat standing in the dark with my toilet rolls with people rushing past me, I felt the need to explain why I was just standing there, Don't say it....Why didn't you take your cane???? I dunno, another day another lesson learnt I suppose!
I don't suppose I will write again now before Christmas so I wish you all a very Happy Christmas xx

Snow Day

Once again I seem to have let two weeks at least pass without writing to you all. I would like to say that's because nothing much has happened and I have been quietly sitting around enjoying myself, but sadly life has been nothing more than carnage, with a few treats chucked in just to keep me from going completely over the edge!
Sometimes it is so hard to remember that everyone has shit going on in their lives and that I haven't been personally chosen by some wanker sitting high up in the clouds to experience every single situation and emotion in the space of a short year, hard times are not exclusive to me everyone has them......all that said, last week when my dishwasher broke I think it was the final straw. Its just a dishwasher I keep telling myself, how on earth did I manage without one before?...I could see better then, washing up by hand now feels like life is sticking two fingers up at me, reminding me that this is yet another job that I cant do as well as I used too. The dishwasher was a happy substitution for the fact that I keep putting 'rejects' on the draining board. I refuse to buy a new dishwasher at this time of the year when everything will be half price in two weeks time, so it looks like the attractive yellow rubber gloves will be staying over Christmas! 
Over the last couple of weeks I have found that I have almost been begging that I would open my eyes in the morning and the big floater has moved away, its the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night, I so badly want to get back to some sort of normality that I am steamrolling through the day, just so I can go to bed. Do you know what I mean? Its sort of like a child at Christmas, they know the big day is getting nearer, so they ram all the things they should be doing during the day in to a two hour slot and then are in their Pj's by 2pm waiting to go to bed so they can get a day nearer...that's what I am doing, only there is no set date, so I am chasing something that might never come. Pre PTS therapy, I might have carried on until I was a complete blubbering wreak, but the therapy has taught me to refocus and rethink, so I sat one afternoon with the laptop and browsed on-line courses, I spoke to my contact at RNIB and he suggested that I tried a company called ALISON, they offer free on-line courses, you pay for your certificate at the end. So, I kinda though, I have nothing to lose, its not going to cost me anything, and the course that interests me came up, so I applied and started a diploma in Psychology, its great and is definitely giving me something other than floaters to think about. This was perfect timing, as we woke up last Sunday morning to a blanket of white fluffy snow and a message from my other half not under at circumstances to go out in it.....so I got dressed, put my wellies on and went out! I took Ralph with me and he was extremely disappointed when we got to the top of the road and I had to turn back. I had no idea where the safe places to walk were and the snow was so white it hurt my eyes, by the time we has slipped back to the front door I had the beginnings of what I call eye related head ache. Off came the wellies and the clothes, on when the slippers, fluffy socks and winter Pjs. And Ralph and I curled up under the blanket and I taught him all about 'The learning Theory, Neurons, Sympathetic and Parasympathetic division'....I not sure how much he listened too as he spent most of the time gazing out of the window at the falling snow!
Obviously, I am finding it a bit of a challenge as I cant see too good, but slow and steady wins the race eh? There are loads of different courses to do and I do love learning.
The snow hung around a bit and to make matters more dangerous for me and everyone else walking on the pavements the arrival of ice on top of the snow has meant that I have spent most days at home this week, if it hadn't have been for the course and my 'schedule list' I think I would be signing up for more therapy. The 'schedule list' has been fantastic, its one of the most simple yet effective ideas ever. The night before I sit and write all the jobs that I need to get done on a big note pad, the next day, as I do them, I tick them off and at the end of the day if there is a job that hasn't been done I move it to the next day, there is something enormously satisfying about completing every job on the list and tearing off the sheet and throwing it away. It innocently keeps me focused and on track. 
I did have some photos of Ralph in the snow to show you, but my phone did a update and kindly deleted half my photos!
The one job that keeps getting pushed along to the next day and has done for over a week is writing Christmas cards, I just don't want to do it, I don't know why, I have always been really proud of how neat my hand writing is and lately its not been looking so legible, so it kind of feels like another failure that I cant produce such nice writing anymore. Parcel wrapping...now, I have been a bit crafty with that this year, I have made sure all my gifts are boxes or presents that are easily wrapped. Mum introduced me to M&S wrapping paper which has got cutting lines marked out in bold, so you follow the line with your scissors, but then I ran out so I opened a new roll that I brought from Sainsbury and was so pleased to see lines on the back of this paper too. As I was lent over the paper carefully snipping along the line, a voice says, what you up too? I say I am cutting along the lines of the wrapping paper stupid? the voice says...there are no lines on that paper, stupid! See, how incredible are we? My brain had remembered the lines from the other wrapping paper and was still seeing them on the new roll even though my eyes weren't!! 
Well, I leave you with a photo of my lazy mate who likes to take up the whole sofa.
Speak Soon xx

A Christmas Rant

I've been  thinking.....I know, my lot tell me all the time I think way too much.....
I was thinking about how easy it is to cut ourselves off from the world outside our front doors, and I know I talk about that a lot, but what about when the tables turn and being cut off is taken out of our hands. 
Take this time of the year for example, its the festive season and my Facebook page is alight with all the Christmas fayres, fetes, festivals and markets. I would love to attend some of the places that pop up, but I know without a doubt it would be a nightmare. 
Lets all think about it for a moment.... Lets Take Mr and Mrs  non disability, they get up on a Saturday morning and decide they will go off to, I dunno, lets say Wadderston Mannor to look at their Christmas light display and wonder around the market. No problem, off they go, parking is a bit of a bitch and if they were disabled they might have got a better parking space, but hey, they stomp across a muddy car park and enter through the gates. The place is packed with people wondering about, so busy looking at all the beautiful things that they aren't really aware of their immediate surroundings, so they might bump into someone, they might exchange apologies and the moment is forgotten. I know what it is like, I remember what it is like to be a 'normal' human, so I have lifted my children high above my head so they get the best view, I have pushed my way forward into the crowd standing around the stall selling hot chocolate and Gingerbread, I would happily pick my way though a over crowded café to buy lunch and still manage to spot an empty table and put my claim to it. I wouldn't feel pressured to move along as I looked at baubles and other Christmas decorations, and I didn't need to ask someone else what the price tag said, oh how things have changed. I hope I am not making it sound that I think that Mr and Mrs non disability are ignorant to others especially folks with a disability, because I am certainly not, I am, however, saying that these events are not very well thought out for people with a disability. 
Yeah, ok, we do get the disabled parking. But from there on, to attend a large function is nothing more than carnage. Its impossible to use my cane in a over crowded venue, people shouldn't be expected to leap out of your way when they are enjoying themselves, they are focused on their families and savouring each moment, again, hands up, I have been there too. I once nearly landed in a wheelchair with a old lady because I was looking up at this amazing Christmas tree and had totally missed the carers sliding her along beside me, thankfully she thought it was funny and I was much lighter then so she wasn't too squashed, but within ten minutes I had forgotten it, but I can bet the carer and the old lady were on high alert for the rest of the day for strange women falling onto old ladies laps! 
So, why cant these places open up for a couple of hours before Mr an Mrs non disability come along for people with disabilities and their families? I am fully aware that as a disabled person I don't always pay a full priced ticket because there are things I cant access, but I would much rather pay full price for a ticket for a couple of hours to be able to enjoy what everyone else is enjoying. 
Just imagine, they could turn down the music a little, the place wouldn't be so busy, the pressure would be lessened and when the venue opened to the rest of the public they wouldn't have to worry about bumping into wheelchairs, tripping over white canes or standing open mouthed as a fully grown teenager has a complete melt down and because they haven't had any dealings with a autistic child they presume you are trailing a badly behaved monster around with you who deserves a slap!
Oh my god, and why isn't there some sort of system where we could go into a concert for example and the music doesn't get played so loud. The government goes on about inclusion, but there is no inclusion. #Debenhams....I dare you to open on a Sunday morning for two hours just for disabled people to do some Christmas shopping.
I long to experience Christmas as I used too, but I and so many others cant.
Maybe its because there is a bit of a taboo concerning people with disabilities and what the expectations are. wouldn't it be great if a company just said...look, what would you like? We are holding a Christmas event, its going to be over four days, should we shut to the general public for two hours on the first day of the event so that we can have a slot for disabled....but then I suppose you are always going to get some cranky old sod that disagrees. 
Well, now I have got that rant out of my system I am going to switch on my Christmas lights and think about the fact that I want to go to a local Christmas market tomorrow.....