Sunday 5 March 2017

Calm voice

Hi Everyone, I cant believe its Sunday again, where on earth did the week go?
Firstly and most importantly, I have to make a amendment to last weeks post, my girls have informed me that their Dad did not teach me to swim, although he did accompany me a couple of times, it was my girls and my friend Jane who 'taught' me and gave me time and encouragement, funny how your memories can be distorted by how you want to remember someone or a situation. I think I was relating all my swimming experiences to the Hitchin swimming pool because that's where I go every week, and I had forgotten about the swimming trips in Woodbridge, they have a perfect size pool, and it doesn't get too busy, anyway I am sorry for that blip in my memory, and I really do Thank you Jane and my girls.
This week I discovered that although I think I have everything under control....I actually don't!
My friend and I were a little late to the pool on Thursday, she popped off to the Loo and I made my way to the pool side as per our emerging routine...only to find the water was busy, busy with humans, humans of all shapes and sizes, some powering up and down the lanes, some just messing around and then there were the oldies, who seem to just magically float along the water, not even getting their hair wet (I want to do that!),
The shallow end was, in my eyes, packed. The wave of panic hitting my stomach as I pushed my self to the poolside steps was almost to much, I desperately wanted to turn and run, run far, far away, to somewhere quiet and calm...like my bed, I had flashes of my bed, sitting in my warm comfy bed, with the sun streaming through the window, and silence, beautiful clear and calm silence.....but no, I am at Hitchin bloody swimming pool, there is a load of selfish horrible nasty humans who have completely and irresponsibly chosen to swim on the exact morning that I WANT TO SWIM....what the hell is the matter with people, don't they know I am in a panic!
Then comes the gentle hand on my shoulder and my friends even more gentle voice saying..are you ok?
I don't think I can do it today, I cant do it, its too busy, but the gentle voice is saying..'ok, but lets get in and make our way past these people and see how you feel.............well, fudge me! The voice was right, as soon as I was past the group of people, who incidentally, where good enough to acknowledge me, I was off, straight to the deep end, AND, I didn't even need a marker! because I discovered that as you swim along towards the shallow end the water gets warmer, which is a good indicator that my feet can touch he bottom, I cant believe how much easier it is to swim in deep water.
I recon I must be well on my way to completing at least one of my new years resolutions all ready! I am so glad I didn't run and hide, the day turned into a triumph instead of a failure, that's what we all need, more triumphs less failures!
The arrival of pancake day on Tuesday meant that, even though we are not religious in any shape or form, we should try and give something up for Lent. My youngest chose school and my eldest chose work, my partner chose nothing cos he is perfect doesn't need to give anything up, so I ignored them all and I chose to give up chocolate and to make a effort to take 10,000 steps or more a day.
Both are going really well so far, I haven't wanted any chocolate and most days I take on average 15,000 to 20.000 steps, see I'm bloody good ent I?
Yesterday was a lovely warm day, I got loads done and my youngest and I went into town and wondered around the shops, we usually buy a treat for Saturday evenings and we struggled not to buy any chocolate, so I made a Bakewell tart instead, instant sugar rush and you don't need to much as its so sweet, perfect!
I used to be really good at making and piping icing on cakes, but I just cant see well enough to do fiddly things anymore.
What else have I got to tell you....Ohhh yes, for years on and off I have brought a Lottery ticket, I have never won more than £25 and I don't really hold out much hope for winning anything more than that, however I am always on the look out for something a bit more, I dunno, personal if you like.
I stumbled across the RNIB Lottery, I don't think its very well advertised and I literally never knew it existed. For £1 every week you get put into a draw to win £1000, you are given your own unique number and you have to pay by direct debit on a monthly basis, but I like the fact that you know your money is going where you want it to go, I know the Lottery helps fund Charites, but I like to be more specific. You can win other prizes too, £10.000 3 times a year, and £25.000 at Christmas.
I still don't suppose I will win anything, I have never been lucky like that, but at least I know my money is going towards research and support for visually impaired folk.
well, it is absolutely pouring down outside, and Ralph is asking for a walk!
I leave you with a photo of Ralph not getting any cake! But trying to look cute enough to deserve some!
Have a good week everyone, speak soon xx



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